My great friend Missy has inspired me once again! The other day on her blog she posted an entry on complaining. (If you want to read it click on her blog in my list) Well as most of you know that is something we struggle with here in the
Beltz household. She suggested going on a complaining fast. So, since God has put a verse on my heart for a while now from Phil. 2:14-15 "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe", I figured He was using Missy to talk to me once again and get it through my thick head. So I am now on a complaining fast. I am tell you this so you can hold me accountable.
It has already been a struggle and I just started two days ago. For example I went to choir practice last night. Now you would think since I was going to a church function it wouldn't be to hard not to complain. Well, I sat beside a lady that only wanted to complain. I don't think I joined in but I have a terrible memory and could have said something that could have been construed as a complaint. However, I don't think I did. And earlier in the day I was at
Mc Donalds with a friend and I was telling her a story about what
happened the night before. After I got home I was thinking about our conversation and thought "Was I complaining?" Now I don't think I was complaining and in my heart I wasn't but she could have taken it as a complaint. I think.?! I am not so sure
Anyway, all this thinking about complaining has left me a little confused. Have I just become so use to complaining that I can't see it for what it is? Am I trying to fool God and myself and say I was just explaining a situation to someone but deep inside I was wanting sympathy from them? Even though I know I can't fool God, I don't want to fail at this complaining fast!!! But I think I might be. A fast from food is at least easier from the point that if you put it in your mouth and swallow it you know you blew it. This is hard and I don't like it, but I am going to stick with it :)